Planning a wedding is a precarious mixture of excitement and stress. Remembering these six things will help your planning season go smoothly.
1. It’s only one day but it’s also only one day.
You wedding day is just that, a day. One day.
- Don’t blow so much money that you can’t afford to live the married life your wedding day celebrates. Your wedding should a be a wonderful party…that you can afford.
- However, it’s also just a day. One day. So make it count! Try and be fully present in every moment, remembering all the small details you’ll forget if you don’t. Hire a great photographer because the pictures from this one day will be some of your most prized possessions.
2. Your wedding day is not all about you.
Your wedding day is a great chance to remember and show gratitude to the people who helped get you here, to the happiest day of your life. This is the only regret I have about my own wedding.
Your bridesmaids or groomsmen have sacrificed time away from their families, jobs, etc. They have purchased whatever shirt/tie or dress combo you required that they will never wear again but they’re wearing for you because they care about you. Make sure they know how thankful you are.
Your parents will have mixed emotions today. On one hand, they could not be happier for you. On the other hand, part of them feels like you’re leaving them for good because after your wedding day, everything changes. Find a special way to honor your parents on your wedding day. Write them a letter. Steal them away for a private toast. Don’t make the mistake of forgetting where you came from because it’s shaped where you are on your special day.
Most importantly, if you’re a Christian your wedding party is a shadow of the party that’s awaiting us in heaven, previewed in Revelation 19:6-9,
6 Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out, “Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns. 7 Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; 8 it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. 9 And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.”
3. Have a date night every week…with no wedding planning talk allowed.
This doesn’t even need to be explained. Try not doing this for a few weeks. Then try it for a few weeks and see what’s better.
4. You’re also planning to start a life together.
Along with the wedding you’re also planning life together. Part of how you handle the adversity of this stressful season will preview how you’ll handle more stressful times to come. You’re not just planning a party; you’re starting a book together and the wedding is just the first chapter.
- One practical area in which newlyweds must be on the same page about is finances. I cannot suggest Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University class enough. Every engaged couple on the planet should take this class.
5. Two becoming one can be painful.
The Bible repeatedly refers to marriage as “two becoming one” (Genesis 2:23, Mark 10:8). As two become one, both people are forced to change.
They certainly change for the better but its because two people are learning to live out the Gospel in each other lives, “looking not only to [their] own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4).
6. Don’t play the comparison game.
One of the things I’m most thankful for in life is that my wedding happened before Pinterest existed. The only weddings we could compare ours too were ones we had seen in person. Here’s the reality: not many people will remember much about your wedding. They will remember being thrilled for you but they won’t care about how many Mason jars you included in your centerpieces.
Plan well. Work hard. But plan your wedding, not someone else’s.